December 12, 2011

there is something abouth this picture that inspires me. it reminds me of the saying ‘every cloud has a silver lining’  because it’s this huge pop of color where everything looks gray. and it’s just nice to remember or be reminded that there is always a silver lining to be found.

the last three weeks of my life have flown by in a whirlwind, to say the least. I welcomed my beautiful, perfect, healthy baby girl into my world on november 18th. and through all the challenges that being a new mom is full of – like not having the delivery I planned on, recovering from a c-section, a new level lack of sleep, figuring out what THAT cry means, learning what you really need in a diaper bag and how to get out of the house in a timely fashion and make it to (here or there) on time, among a MILLION other challenges – I just keep looking at her and thinking ‘wow’ I don’t care if I ever sleep again because she is AMAZING. and adorable, if I do say so myself.

and I am lucky because I have a husband who has been both supportive and absolutely darling and adorable with our new little one, through every challenge that having a baby brings for a new dad, too (including even some that we didn’t expect, like putting up with a new mom)

but in these last few weeks, I’ve also had to keep reminding myself that every cloud does in fact have a silver lining. as I embark on this new journey as a mom, I also find myself facing the loss of a loved one, someone very special to me. and while this is a tragic thing at any time, the silver lining for me in this situation is that I know that she is at  peace and that she has lived a good long life. I am so thankful to have known her and grown up with her. she has inspired me in so many ways. she has been a comfort, a friend, an inspiration and a pillar of strength. she’s spunky, feisty, hilarious, kind and strong. and as she has prepared to leave this life behind, she is leaving behind an impact on the lives of everyone she’s ever known or met. she is the first generation of the crazy kind of woman that makes up my family. the kind of woman I am proud of and proud to be. my little girl is named ofter her and I feel so lucky that they got to meet and spend time together these last few weeks. I will cherish the memories of their meeting forever and will always be thankful for every single moment we had together as four generations. and while bella may not remember it, we will be sure to tell her all about her great-grandma and how wonderful she was